October came and went, and I simply cannot wrap my mind around how rapidly time flew! I’m in my third month here, and only weeks away from the end of my first semester at Jasaeng Academy. Pinch me.
While there is so much I love about my life in Korea, and while I found myself in October significantly happier and much more confident in my new surroundings– the ins and outs of Changwon city as well as the ups and downs of teaching– I realized about halfway through the month that all the ease and comfort I was now experiencing was causing my heart to dry up spiritually. Life works this way for me, it’s always been this way. As soon as I’m good, happy, settled, comfortable, I forget God. Picture me in August/September and you would see a more sad, but much more Christ-dependent girl. Picture me in October and I’m bouncing around the city, but thinking to myself that I got to this place by myself… which isn’t the least bit true.
Even so, the Lord is forever faithful, and although I neglected Him so many times, He never ever forgot me. For this I am grateful.
Just as I did for September, I want to share some of the highlights that October brought. In spite of struggles and weaknesses, October was so so good.
10/2 — “Never, in peace or war, commit your virtue or happiness to the future. Happy work is best done by the man who takes his long-term plans somewhat lightly and works from moment to moment ‘as unto the Lord.’ It is only our daily bread that we are encouraged to ask for. The present is the only time in which any duty can be done or any grace received.” C. S. Lewis, from “The Weight of Glory.” The whole concept of time has been actualized completely differently than when I was in the states. When you are living on a 365 day trajectory, every day is a countdown, each day brings you closer to the last day. I have had to intentionally NOT think about time passing, and then it goes by so much quicker! Not that I’m wishing the end of the year would arrive sooner, but when I get homesick, the first thing I think of is how much longer until I can return. I am learning to take my daily bread daily, to remember that I have just enough grace for today.
10/5 — “Cause me to hear your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You I do trust; cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to you. Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; Your spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness.” Psalm 143. Beyond the shadow of a doubt, Korea is where I should be.
10/6 — “It is impossible for God to forgive you more.” Sunday sermon.
10/10 — “It is not in me; God will give an answer of peace” Reading Joseph’s story, Genesis 41:16
10/12 — Officially became a member at Redeemer International Community Church. Words can’t even express how thankful I am for this Body of Christ in Korea.
10/16 – “We sang a hymn to the river that flows/ down from the mountain of the Holy Ghost/ & into the souls of those who know His name… / peace like a river in a valley of bones / it fills the valley up & it carries them home.” Andrew Peterson forever inspiring me. Thankful for the river that flows into my soul.
“You loved me first & fully when nothing lovely existed, & gifted me with grace till my heart could awaken, embrace, & return it. All I see now – every goodness, each beauty & blessing are but tremor & awake me & stir me further to love & longing only for You.” — My Epic
What God showed me this month was simply this: only He can give me a sure and rested soul. It is only the Spirit that can blow on the embers of my hear and breathe me back to life when I have begun to forget God and thus harden my heart.
10/18 – I was so obsessed with Rich Mullins this month. Watch the Ragamuffin film if you haven’t seen it before. It wrecked me in the best possible ways. Deepened my heart’s cry to truly be one of surrender. I found myself praying this continually, and meaning it more than ever before:
I can’t see how You’re leading me unless you lead me here, where I’m lost enough to let myself be led.
10/28 – “What if we were driven by grace?” ……..this is everything.
Other October highlights include: 2 epic hiking trips, first trip to Busan, my school taking all the teachers on a vacation weekend, Jasaeng Academy halloween party, traveling to Daegu alone around midnight, an epic clam festival, finally getting my ARC card and becoming an official “alien” … and plenty of other adventures I’m forgetting.
I apologize for the lack of posts lately. As I said, time has been zipping by! I blink twice and we’re halfway through a new month! Such is life, I supposed. As always, thank you for your prayers.
Love you all.